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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29335083">Paper Hearts</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightblu_e/pseuds/moonlightblu_e'>moonlightblu_e</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>(여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, actress shuhua but kinda want to be an idol again shuhua, i tear up writing this one, idol soojin, it's bc minnie played paper hearts last night, kinda angsty? or very angsty lol, shuhua was there all along, soojin sings paper hearts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 11:53:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,558</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29335083</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlightblu_e/pseuds/moonlightblu_e</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>birthday, christmas. those two special days that made and broke soojin's heart.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Paper Hearts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hi this is kinda angsty and this isn't proofread.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <em>goodbye, love, flew right by, love.</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“sound check. 1, 2, 3.” she hears the sound director say through her in-ear, as she nods along to the beat of the song. instrumentals, the sound director’s voice, beat, counting, her own voice; she can hear it through her in-ear, but this voice of this girl was shouting louder in the back of her head.</span>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <span>-----</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“i like this song..” shuhua taps her foot against the ground, letting ‘paper hearts’ resonate around her room, as soojin nods, taking the information in. “minnie unnie made me listen to it.” shuhua fiddles with her phone, “she also told me the meaning of the song, since i couldn't understand some of the words.” shuhua looks up at her, smiling slightly. soojin swears she saw tears prickle at the ends of shuhua’s eyes, but it could be just her mind playing tricks with her again. “i feel like i would relate to this song very soon, unnie.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>remember the way you made me feel</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>such young love but</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>something in me knew that it was real</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>frozen in my head</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>the other girl just turned 18, while she was already 19, turning 20 in a few months. “happy birthday, shuhua.” soojin greets, the first one among them. it just turned 12 in the midnight, barging into the room she shares with shuhua with a small cake in hand, reading ‘happy 18th birthday, shuhua.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>shuhua lights up, her eyes turning into crescents as she smile. “unnie, you didn’t have to.” shuhua stands up from her bed, pulling a small table from the side of the room so soojin could place the small chocolate cake on top. “i made sure they didn’t put in anything strawberry related..” soojin scratches her nape, “and i know how much you like chocolate, so..” soojin smiles shyly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>shuhua reaches from across the small table, running her knuckles along soojin’s cheeks. “thank you.” she says, her voice an octave deeper. soojin gulps, but keeps her composure. “i love you, unnie. thank you so much.” she closes her eyes, putting her hands together as she makes a wish.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘i hope she will notice the way i look at her.’ she wishes, smiling as she blows her candles. “i’m 18..” shuhua looks up at soojin, “yeah, shu, you’re 18.” soojin chuckles. “that means i could kiss someone already-!” soojin glares at her, “shush!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“what did you wish for?” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“for you to notice my overwhelming, very hard to hide romantic feelings for you.” shuhua answers in mandarin, making soojin pout, and.. whine. “i don’t understand!” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘i wish i could kiss that pout away.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“hey, shuhua.” shuhua hums against the back of her neck, snuggling even deeper if that was possible. “i love you, so much.” she feels shuhua’s lips turning into a smile behind her, “happy 19th birthday, my love.” she turns her body around, kissing shuhua’s lips as she lets shuhua hug her even closer.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘it’s been 1 year since i answered you, shu.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘the very first person i truly loved.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>pictures i'm living through for now</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>trying to remember all the good times</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>our life was cutting through so loud</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>memories are playing in my dull mind</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“i miss you.” soojin whispers, holding onto the picture frame that contained her and shuhua’s picture, her lips on shuhua’s cheek as shuhua takes the picture, smiling smugly.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>‘191225’ it says, their 2nd christmas together. shuhua’s favorite holiday.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>it’s been 2 years, it’s 2021 now.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“why did you.. why did you have to leave me?” she sobs, as hot salty tears fall down from her sore eyes. “you promised that you’ll take responsibility for me, yeh shuhua!” she screams, her grip getting stronger, her knuckles turning white. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“merry christmas, babe.” shuhua runs her fingers in soojin’s locks, intertwining their naked bodies together. soojin hums, her eyes still closed, letting shuhua’s fingers go through her hair. it feels so.. comforting. it feels like.. home.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>soojin finally opens her eyes, as she connects her forehead with shuhua. she could see shuhua’s lips turn into a smile, but then again, she swears she sees tears from shuhua’s eyes. maybe it was just the moon playing tricks on her, though. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“i’m sorry.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“did you regret it, shuhua?” soojin asks worriedly. shuhua chuckled, making her worry ease.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“last night? no, i would never!” she gives soojin a peck, “that was the best christmas gift i ever had, love.” she whispers breathily, “you finally being one with me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>soojin blushes.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>i hate this part paper hearts</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>and i'll hold a piece of yours</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>don't think i would just forget about it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>hoping that you won't forget about it</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“miyeon unnie, where’s shuhua?” miyeon looks up at soojin, hot tears trickling down her eyes. she notices that she’s wearing one of shuhua’s shirts, making her smile a little.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“she didn’t tell you?” miyeon asks, even though she already knew the answer.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>soojin was still rubbing her eyes, “no? where is she?”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“she left the group, soojin.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>when there's cameras</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>and i just can't reach out to tell you</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>that i always wonder what you're up to</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>she tries to smile, she really tried to, but she just can’t. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>a week after shuhua’s departure, unannounced. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>well, maybe it wasn’t totally 'unannounced’, she just… didn’t know.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“she wasn’t happy anymore, soojin!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“but i was here, soyeon, i was here all along for her!”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“she tried to tell you, soojin.” minnie chips in, “but waking up everyday just to sing and dance was tiring her out, she wasn’t… happy anymore.” soojin looks at her, “this wasn’t her true passion.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>-</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>pictures i'm living through for now</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>trying to remember all the good times</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>our life was cutting through so loud</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>memories are playing in my dull mind</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>i hate this part paper hearts</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>and i’ll hold a piece of yours</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>don't think i would just forget about it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>hoping that you won't forget</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“don’t cry, soojin!” she opens her eyes, seeing fans chant around her, as she pauses her singing. she knew her voice was about to crack, anyways. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she lifts her hand, wiping her cheeks with the back of her palm. she didn’t even know that she was crying. she chuckles to herself, “pathetic, seo soojin.” she lifts her head upwards, trying to stop her tears from falling any further, “it’s been 3 years, and you still haven’t moved on from her.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she looked all around her again, seeing the violet light and the sea of fans made her feel better. “seo soojin! seo soojin!” she could hear the fans shout, even through her in-ear. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“you’re doing great, soojin.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>an awfully familiar voice speaks through her in-ear, as she furrowed her eyebrows. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘this is a woman’s voice. the sound director was a man.’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“verse. 1, 2,3.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she sings, looking around her, looking for the source of the voice. she hides it by constantly waving at the fans, but her stare reaches the ends of the arena.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>i live through pictures as if i was right there by your side</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>but you'll be good without me and if i could just give it some time</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>i’ll be alright</em>
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“i really hope you’re alright now.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>the voice speaks through her in-ear again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“although, i am not good without you with me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she spots a camera pan to the side of the stage, as she gets confused. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘i’m here, though?’ </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she looks at the screen, seeing the face of the girl she’s been longing to meet for the past 3 years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>shuhua looks at her, smiling. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“goodbye love you flew right by love.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>she says through the mic, knowing that it would reach soojin’s in-ear. </span>
  <em>
    <span>“you finally found me.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>soojin gasps, covering her mouth with her hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>she runs from the opposite side of the stage, meeting shuhua halfway. the fans cheer, as shuhua looks around. “they’re still there.” she says, looking at soojin. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>soojin looks at her in the eyes, as tears trickle down her eyes again. the instrumentals end, walking towards shuhua slowly, as she takes a deep breath.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i missed you.” she knew that the fans could hear her, with her mic still in front of her lips. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“1, 2, 3. last stanza, soojin.” </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>soojin walks closer, as she connects her forehead with shuhua once again, her hand mic between her and shuhua’s lips. </span>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>
    <em>“pictures i'm living through for now</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>trying to remember all the good times</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>our life was cutting through so loud</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>memories are playing in my dull mind</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>i hate this part paper hearts</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>and I'll hold a piece of yours</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>don't think i would just forget about it</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>hoping that you won't forget.”</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>they sing, as they both close their eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“the city is taipei, soojin.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>shuhua opens her eyes, as soojin follows suit. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i never forgot about you.” soojin drops her hand, as she stands up straight, hugging shuhua tightly. she wraps her hands around shuhua’s neck, with the younger already taller than her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“happy birthday, i still love you.” </span>
  </em>
  <span>soojin whispers, the mic in her hand that was around shuhua’s neck catching her whisper. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>the stage lighting darkens, as the platform goes lower. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>yuqi meets them from the backstage, hugging soojin and telling her good job before glaring at shuhua playfully. “so, are you coming back?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“i want to.” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>---</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>birthday. christmas. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>those 2 events that made and broke soojin’s heart.</span>
</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p>
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